You know, Betty Boop was always my favorite Fleischer character. I’ve always wondered why Bluto didn’t just let Popeye have that scrawny little bitch, Olive Oyl and find himself a real woman like Betty. By the way, Bluto, along with my new idol, was sort of my inspiration for Anton Zelov — you know, the guy whom my two most favorest people in the world have no clue is. But anyway, I’m gonna have Betty Boop talk about a topic that I promised I would discuss a while ago and is now long overdue. And that topic is competing risks. Now, I also admire Betty Boop in that she could handle herself in any situation and always appeared to respect herself. So although she dressed like Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian sometimes, she never acted like Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian. I wish I could indeed handle myself like she has. As an example, I joined this quantum physics group not too long ago to learn more about the real science behind the concepts I write about in my fiction. Never mind that my college physics grades sucked, I actually could follow up with some of the posts and began learning a lot. But then I started getting these private messages from the administrator. Messages like “aaahhhhhhh … so nice so big”. Now, I don’t know exactly what was ‘so nice so big’ but I have a feeling that I don’t wanna know so I just ignored that one. Of course, it got me to thinking how Betty would respond and I have a feeling that she would have replied the same way I should have by politely telling this guy that she’s not interested as she’s saving herself for her future husband. That or she would have written: “aaahhhhhhh… so black so blue”. But anyway, onto the topic at hand.
So here we go.
Hiya, folks! So today, we’re talkin’ about competin’ risks an’ how we classify an event as eider an event of interest or a competin’ risk. So I’ll be talkin’ about how to keep the goys at bay and not get ’em to close to the … boop-opo-a-doop …ooohhh! So fo exampa, if a goy gets killed becuz of an unwelcomes pass, unwelcomes by me, dat is, we say dat’s an event of intrest but if it ain’t we say it’s a competin’ risk. Like if someone got hit by a piana, well, dat probably ain’t me — dat’s probably dat Bluto dinkin’ it was my gorlfriend Olive Oyl’s boyfriend Popeye walkin’ down below, so dat’ll be a competin’ risk. But if dat goy was run over by a ca after I told him not to slap me dere de hundredth time, den, yeah dat was probably me and dat’s an event of interest. Or if I been waitressin’ at Sleepy’s and the goy been sayin’ “I’d rather have your sugah, sistah,” den yeah, again, dat poisoned burger … an event of interest. Unless again, dat poor goy was Popeye and da cook was Bluto … den dat woulda been a competin’ risk. And if someone drained watah from da pool and dat next chap who jumps in be da one dat’s always takin’ off mah bikini wid his eyes, then it’s an event of interest. Like how many times can I tell someone to stop doin’ it cuz ya know I’m savin’ myself for Bluto even dough he keeps hounding on Olive an Popeye … even dough I’m right ‘ere … I mean, am I chop livah now? Now, I knowin’ how Irene’s feels when she’s been bombarded all day by “EL James dis” and “EL James dat!” and “EL James …” gimma a break! And … waid … was dat aloud? Never minds den. But yeah, dose are just some examples of events of interest and competin’ risks. Boop-opo-a-doop …ooohhh!