So What’s Your Sign?

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So I posted this pic with these insightful zodiac descriptions on my facebook page only to take it down minutes later so as to not offend any potential (HA!) readers.  I guess as what that description says about me is true … I really am chicken sh…oot, now, why did I take it down?  I should post it again as it’s funny as fu…nny horoscopes go. But then I decided to come up with my own horoscope list and post that.  So here we go.

Capricorn:  Just like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way.  By the way, did I ever mention that my birthday is January 2nd?  So that means … yes, I’ll wait till you’re done.

Moving on …

Aquarius:  We get along as long as you don’t piss me off. Then you’re a dead man/woman walking.

Pisces:  We get along as long as you don’t piss me off. Then you’re a dead man/woman walking.

Aries: We get along as long as you don’t piss me off. Then you’re a dead man/woman walking.

Taurus:  We get along as long as you don’t piss me off. Then you’re a dead man/woman walking.

Gemini: We get along as long as you don’t piss me off. Then you’re a dead man/woman walking.

Cancer: Okay, my boss is a Cancer, so I’m not touching that one.

Leo: Okay, my mom is a Leo, so I’m not touching that one.

Virgo:  Okay, my dissertation advisor is a Virgo, so I’m not touching that one.

Libra: We get along as long as you don’t piss me off. Then you’re a dead man/woman walking.

Scorpio:  We get along as long as you don’t piss me off. Then you’re a dead man/woman walking.

Sagittarius:  We get along as long as you don’t piss me off. Then you’re a dead man/woman walking.

So what I’m trying to say here is that unless you’re a Cancer, Leo, or Virgo, the act of or even just attempting the act of pissing me off would be very stupid and dangerous on your part.  Oh, and Capricorns are generally safe too as they don’t generally piss me off, being practically perfect in every way and all.

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