You have to forgive me if I go off on a tangent sometimes here, as I’ve been living on a nightly average of three-and-a-half hours as of late. Reason being I’ve had a mother-f …lower sending toothache and I’m finally getting to the dentist tomorrow. I know, I know, I should get dental check-ups more often. My mom, who practiced as a dentist in Poland, tells me this. My friend, Erika, who works at a cosmetic dental facility, tells me this. Even Fifty Shades girl who is also a dentist told me this. But did I listen? Of course, not! Of course, you’re talking with someone who still thinks Order of the Dimensions will be a best-seller and made into a blockbuster movie so what do you expect? By the way, my mom says a toothache is actually much worse than childbirth. So if I can handle a toothache, I sure as hell can birth out a kid. Just out of the blue she said that. I don’t know why she said that or if it is actually true, but she said that. Oh wait … I know why she said that. It’s because she’s still hoping that I will give her a grandchild. Yes, it does not matter that she already has six grandchildren. No, *I* must give her a grandchild. Me. Her baby. Her star child. Her beautiful (HA!), intelligent (double HA!), best-selling author (infinite number of HA’s!), doctorate in biostatistics-receiving (well, okay, at least I didn’t disappoint her there), wonderful, star child. And it does not matter if the baby daddy’s first name won’t rhyme with Moe or his last name won’t rhyme with Tanganiello. No, whoever will be the father of my future baby does not matter at this point. Just as long as *I* give her a grandchild. Me. Her baby. Her star child. Did I mention she has six other grandkids? So anyway, as I was saying, please forgive me if I go off on a tangent like I did right there.
But on to today’s subject. Believe it or not, I do have ideas for books other than my damn trilogy. In fact, I hope to eventually write a fictitious account of what it is like to be a biostatistician. I’m hoping that writing about telling a surgeon why it’s not such a good idea to report the standard deviations of one patient population when describing another patient population would be just as exciting as being kidnapped by a former deep, dark, sexy Russian spy and taken to a dimension where one would be forced to live in paradise off the coast of Malta as his love slave. And the way I write about being kidnapped by a former deep, dark, sexy Russian spy and taken to a dimension where one would be forced to live in paradise off the coast of Malta as his love slave, well, does make the former sound more exciting. I also have several ideas brewing on papers I would like to write in my professional career. Like in addition to that Health Policy paper due at the end of January, I’ve also started a paper on applying my imputation method to radiology data that I really am considering to submit to an APS meeting. An APS meeting that will happen to coincide with an Order of the Dimensions movie by the way. Starring my original fantasy cast, of course. And … okay, well this particular tangent might lead Erika to kick my ass again so never mind. I do wish I could work on all these projects simultaneously and perhaps be more like my dissertation advisor whom we dubbed in grad school as the paper monster. No, really, my friends and I called him that as he could work on like fifteen papers at one time. And then he started calling himself that! So anyway, wish I could be more like that and switch my brain to focus on more than one book or more than one paper at one time. But, unfortunately, my mind is not wired like that. Sure, I can set aside some time to write something totally different like this blog, but these are short entries that I just do for fun like checking my horoscopes or going on dlisted.com and seeing OMG!! what did Kim Kardashian do now?? But I just have this one-track mind when it comes to finishing a long-term project. I just can’t think about or focus on anything else until the object of my current damn obsession gets done. Otherwise, I’m afraid that this might happen to my mind.
Will I ever get better at mental multi-tasking and even finish my biostatistician book at the same time I finish my trilogy? I have no idea, but in the meantime, here’s some articles about the Malta house in Poznan, Isaac Asimov possibly being a spy, and Putin being a jellis H8R of Obama. But again, I don’t think finding these articles has as much to do with mental multitasking as it does with my brain going off on a tangent while reading the “Related content” below here on WordPress as I write this post because of my mother-f…lower sending toothache.