So I’m not totally crazy (once again, shut up, please) in making up a fantasy cast for my book. A lot of authors do it just to motivate them in their writing. And just a reminder, this is my fantasy cast. And this would be their favorite song if they were ever asked about starring in an Order of The Dimensions movie. Well, maybe Trickster Guy’s (yup, he’s still there) is this. But then my publicist, Jessi, thought it might be fun to think of more people who could possibly play certain characters and let the potential (HA!) reader decide who they’d like to play whom. And I thought, why not? Maybe it could be fun to, instead of imagining a fixed number of people saying, “No. Not interested. Now kill yourself, loser.”, imagine three times that number of people saying, “No. Not interested. Now kill yourself, loser.”. So I came up with these three lovely ladies to play our initial protagonist and brilliant physics student, Jane Kremowski, and then I have these three fine gentlemen to play her true love, Randy Lipinski. And then we have the villain, Anton Zelov. Now, Anton Zelov is also a deep, dark, sexy Russian and he’s supposed to do a lot of deep, dark, sexy Russian stuff. So, you know all the housewives, cat ladies, and disgruntled biostatisticians turned failed authors will be all over him and throwing their panties at him and running down the street, yelling, “Anton Zelov, I love you!” (no they won’t because they won’t read the damn book). So let these three chaps who might play him be forewarned (Actually, they have nothing to worry about.) that their lives could change forever (again, nothing to worry about) and they could replace Robert Pattinson as the most sought after male specimen on the planet. (Again, not a problem for them. They will still lead relatively normal lives and Robert Pattinson will hate their guts for it.). And for the younger student crowd, we also have younger Anton, which I’m imagining as one of these guys (spoiler alert: my husband gets that one.). There’s also bad girl/femme fatale/evil scientist, Sienna Murdoch, whom I can see being played by one of these vixens (spoiler alert: Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz in drag gets that one), Maggie Upton, the kindhearted pediatrician married to ‘good’ Anton in certain dimensions whom I would consider these three ladies for, and ‘bad’ Anton’s mentor, Roger Penington, who might be played by one of these fellows.
Lastly, there’s Tina Baranicz. Now, Tina actually becomes the pivotal character in the third book. So Book 3 is all about Tina and the reason why young, impressionable girls may throw away their applications to physics graduate programs and look into IT-related fields and computer repair jobs while donning the most fabulous outfit that Lady Gaga has rocked yet. Now, kriscamaro68, Roguetadhg, and ptilsen may wonder why I would write something that would sway girls from studying in an actually prestigious scientific field to go for something less than ambitious, but it will all make sense once you read the end. (No it won’t, because you probably won’t read it. I know … I know, but just shut up and pretend you will.) And that is why I thought long and hard about imagining who might play her and came up with Michelle Williams (my original choice), Carey Mulligan, and Mia Wasikowska. Not that any of that matters because, again, all three of them would probably just say, “No. Not interested. Now kill yourself, loser.” But that’s okay. Doesn’t bother me either way. I’m just starting to think about the perfect comeback lines to respond to each of those peeps. Like when Mulligan will say that, I’ll say, “Well, Carey, trying to be nice here, but I think your Daisy Buchanan would have made baby F. Scott Fitzgerald cry. And adult F. Scott Fitzgerald already had a difficult life, so why would you make baby F. Scott Fitzgerald cry too? Bitch!”