More Fun with Book Promoting!!

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Another fun aspect of book promoting is contacting bloggers and writing, “Hi, My name is Irene Helenowski and I just wrote a new science fiction/fantasy book called Order of The Dimensions.  If you are interested in reviewing … “, “Hi, My name is Irene Helenowski and I just wrote a new science fiction/fantasy book called Order of The Dimensions.  If you are interested in reviewing … “, “Hi, My name is Irene Helenowski and I just wrote a new science fiction/fantasy book called Order of The Dimensions.  If you are interested in reviewing … PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review my book.  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!  What if I throw in my life savings, my car with the pretty dashboard lights, and my first-born child?  Would that help?”  Now, when I first began promoting, I’d basically go through different blogs and try to email the blogger directly.  But some bloggers don’t list an email or don’t accept unsolicited emails or somehow actually got the Google Smell App on their iPhones to work and were about to reply when they passed out from the stench of your desperation.  So what do you do then?  Well, there are websites where you can contact bloggers for free once you sign up.  Some of them allow you to message the blogger privately, so if they NEVER EVER EVER plan to respond to you ala Trickster Guy, others will be none the wiser to what kind of idiot you are.  Unless you’re the kind of idiot who goes on and on about what kind of idiot you are on your very own blog.   Other sites don’t allow for private messaging though so everyone can see if you contacted someone on their message board but they are ignoring you and basically hate your guts ala my experiences with @johnkrasinski and @joemanganiello on twitter.  Actually, I kinda feel bad for the bloggers on those websites.  It’s like the authors don’t even need the Google Smell App to sense the fresh blood on there.  The bloggers on these sites are like a babka in a Flushing, Queens retirement home [just skip to 6:01 in the clip].  Although after contacting thousands … hundreds … okay, I got lazy this month so it’s more like tens of bloggers on there and competing with thousands, hundreds, a lot of other authors for their attention, I did get some responses.   I don’t have to run a one-sample chi-squared test for proportions to tell you that the number of these responses is significantly less than the  number of non-responses, but still …

Of course, not all the bloggers will finish the book or even start the book and there is the chance that those who do might think it completely sucks.  So what do you do then?  What?? Are you seriously asking me??  You seriously think I know?? You seriously want my advice on something related to book promoting??

So to answer your question:  I don’t know.  Wait … you asking me advice on book promoting … that’s a good one!

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