NaNoWriHELLNO!!!

Comic1-NaNoToon-500w1

So last year after I published the first edition of Order of The Dimensions, I was talking to my friend and fellow Free Katian Lori, and she told me about NaNoWriMo month, other known as National Novel Writing Month, and if I was going to do it.  At first, I was like, “Oh that sounds interesting.  Maybe I will try it.”  And then when I looked up what it was, I was like “Oh my God, woman!  Are you insane???  Do you think I’m Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise just drafted our first bearding contract???”  Now given that my recent publicity stunts, you may think, that, yes, I am as insane as Katie Holmes was when Tom Cruise drafted their first bearding contract.  And you’d be totally right. But my writing is a bit different.  Even my first book which received mixed reviews took about five months to write so I simply do not see how I could write anything of quality with 50,000 words in 30 days.  Never mind the revisions to be done afterwards.

At one point, I thought I might finish up my sequel and submit that but I was guilty that that might be well, it is cheating, but my friends were like, “No, don’t worry about it!  Go for it!”  Of course, my friends keep forgetting that I’m a moron in all things not related to multiple imputation or survival analyses (“Oh my God, Irene.  HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW HE WAS JOKING???”) so they did not expect me to tweet bragging that I was already at 47,000+ words with #NaNoPrep.  That was when I was called out by, let’s just call her Cutthroat Grandma (CG), a seemingly harmless lil old lady who just likes to post pictures of her garden but one that will cut you without a moment’s notice, from the beautiful and exotic country of Canada (perhaps not as magical and mystical as upstate New York, but exotic nonetheless).  I tried to save face by saying that I was just practicing but probably couldn’t do it because of my full-time job and she responded by saying, “Oh, goodness gracious!  What a good idea!” which if you translate from Canadianese to Southernese would be “Why, bless your lil heart.  What a good idea!” which if who translate from Southernese to Chicagoanese would be “I don’t care!  You’re lying!  Now, drop dead, you cheater!”

So will I give NaNoWriMo a try?  Still not sure.  Maybe but probably not.  Depends on my workload and the upcoming holidays and all that jazz.  Translation: definitely not.  So don’t expect Robert Pattinson or Reese Witherspoon to star in any movies based on my next book any time soon.  Oh, and at the Health Policy conference I was at last week, I ran into my dissertation advisor who reminded me about writing our next joint paper.  Methinks he is secretly reading this blog and if you translate from Advisorese to Southernese, I think he was trying to say, “Oh sweet honey chile.  It seems I cut the apron strings way too soon and now must give you something else to do before you find yourself in real trouble!”  Or if you translate from Southernese to Chicagoanese, I think it’s “Oh my God, Irene.  HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW HE WAS JOKING????”

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5 thoughts on “NaNoWriHELLNO!!!

    1. I agree! I acknowledge that there may be a tiny, tiny group of talented writers who could do it, but I just couldn’t picture myself doing justice within that time limit, even if I took the month off from work. I already know that that wouldn’t gel well with my boss though 😛

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