Dear Mark Z


No, I do not want you to promote my facebook post for more money anymore.  Because whenever I let you do that, you hold my other posts hostage and do not circulate them to a greater number of people in hopes of getting even more money from me.  (Only 2 people saw my latest post, come on!)  I am not Liam Neeson, you are not the bad guy in the latest Taken movie, and my posts are not my imaginary kidnapped daughter.  Got it?  So here’s how it’s gonna go down, you greedy, little f … facebook creator.  You’re gonna circulate the posts   I already have, you’re gonna circulate them to at least 1000 people, and you’re gonna do it all for free.  And in return, I’ll cancel that appointment I made between you and (not so) lil Tony.  Why, yes, you did have such an appointment!  You did not know?  Oh, that’s right –  lil Tony told me not to tell you, because he works better with the element of surprise.  Sorry, my bad.  That’s all right; it’s cancelled anyway … for now. Now, if you excuse me, I have to  go weep while examining my latest bank account statement and figuring out how I will scrape enough money to pay for my latest promotional stunt (Don’t ask … I’m saving it for a future post).  Oh, and I probably should pay lil Tony’s inconvenience fee … for “safety” reasons, huh?  Damn!


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