So I’m going to a statistical conference next week hosted by the American Statistical Association and start looking through their online but start wondering if I accidently opened a Victoria Secret’s catalogue. Have you seen some of the statisticians out there lately? I am most certainly not hot enough to be one. And the ASA knows I’m not hot enough to be one. That’s why they don’t like or favorite any of my posts. The American Physical Society does, but not the ASA. Shhhh … don’t tell the APS I sucked at college physics. No really, don’t … you should know what I am capable of by now. It’s all like a bad eighties sitcom where that kid (me) whose parents hate him/her (the ASA) so he/she is always over at the neighbor’s house (the APS). Yeah, those sitcoms. And now I know why I love those sitcoms (don’t judge). Of course I usually post or tweet on the APS page through my book page where my avi is this. Yes, that’s the crap I’m trying to pimp out if you must know. Available in paperback at Lulu, Amazon, and Tower Books and in epub format at Lulu, iBookstore, and … oh why do I bother? So yeah, maybe the APS responds because I am more merciful with them, not subjecting them to my ugly mug.
It got me to thinking that perhaps looks still are everything (well duh! they are!) and so that’s why I’m not selling? I began thinking that I should get a snazzy pair of dark-rimmed glasses like EL James. No, really, they’re pretty snazzy, I think. But then I came up with a better idea. I’m now thinking that I should just use this as my profile pic whenever I contact the ASA, APS, agents, publishers, producers, whoever …
Okay, so that’s actually a picture of Emily Ratajkowski, but hey, at least we’re both Polish, right? And I could look like that with
tons a little makeup and tons a little photoshop and … okay, no I couldn’t.
Ah, well. Now I’m holed up in a Montreal hotel waiting for my conference to start tomorrow, watching a Salute to Vienna on the TV. You know, I’ve always wanted to visit Vienna. I even reference Vienna at one point in my book. Do you know how and where? I bet Dictionary Lady does not. And Trickster Movie/Producer Guy does not either since that was also a bust. No worries, I can still read them the page where I reference Vienna after I chain them up in the ‘dungeon’, right before I take the chainsaw and … well, until next time!