Top 10 indications you’re doing it wrong:
10. Mein Kampf is outselling you.
9. When someone asks how many books you’re selling, you take the number of months ago that you sold a copy, multiply that number by 1537, add 328, divide by 45, round it up to the ones place, and say that’s your
monthly weekly average.
8. You begin crying hysterically when someone even mentions the NYT best-seller list.
7. You start having dark thoughts, very dark thoughts. No really, you do. Or have you not been reading this blog?
6. Mein Kampf is outselling you.
5. Instead of googling nice Hollywood Hills mansions that you may live in one day, you drive around skid row looking at the nice cardboard boxes you may live in one day.
4. Your day job suddenly looks better and better. Unless you quit and decided to make being an author your day job. Then you’re screwed.
3. Did I mention Mein Kampf is outselling you?
2. Whenever you re-read your own work, you view your villain as a punkass little bitch, as you yourself are capable of greater misdeeds. See number 7.
1. Your name must be Irene Helenowski.