So in my campaign to get a literary agent, which is still going oh-so-well thankyouverymuch, I talk about trying to get readers hooked on scientists, just like they appear to be hooked on vampires and werewolves these days. Granted as a statistician, I’m sure that I could come across a sample where a significantly greater proportion of women would want to bang these guys rather than these guys. At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I’ll even admit that I’m partial to Joe Manganiello myself. He was going to my future husband, you know.
And all was going according to plan until he too got a restraining order against me. But something about travelling through time or different dimensions appeals to me too. And to others — just look at Doctor Who. (Side note: must capture and lock Moffit and Minchin in ‘the dungeon’ until they finally reveal their secrets for success.) And I still don’t get why sci fi is still considered a guy thing. Wouldn’t girls like to know what could happen to them in other realms? I’d sure like to know. I’d like to think that I already am Dr. Helenowski-Manganiello in another realm and we already have two Polish-Italian-Austrian-Armenian beautiful children. And maybe I would be in this one too had I not disguised myself as Lucia the maid and went straight for his … anyway, where was I?
Ah, yes, physics. Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t talk about physics as my physics college grades sucked. My high school grades were okay, but my college grades sucked. Yeah, I’m owning it. And even in high school, they were okay, but not stellar. Still, they needed another member for the JETS (now called WYSE) team in physics and my biology teacher who was also the JETS captain went to our physics teacher, Mr. P, and was like “Hey! Why don’t you let Irene do it!” Oh well, poor Mr. P! What? Um, I may say “Poor Mr. P!” but you may not — unless you’re suicidal. And yet I became fascinated with physics and the notion of multiple universes and multiple dimensions within universes while watching the Science channel and just thought that writing a story about inter-dimensional travel and how different events can lead to characters living different lives and developing different personalities. Maybe it still will catch on, maybe not, but if I could interest just one girl in the sciences, … , awe hell, I’m really sounding like my letter to the agents now. But yeah, I still think it would be cool if others saw the coolness in Lisa Randall and Michio Kaku and Brian Greene that I do. Hey, maybe Emma Clark would even like my book and be inspired to go back to school to study science if she gave it a chance. I’d even invite her to the premiere (coinciding with a major physics conference, of course)
as she is part of another one of my brilliant plans so that she could tell other young, impressionable girls how Order of The Dimensions changed her life. Yes, it still could happen. Yes, maybe in this dimension. Yes, I’m for real. Yes, I … oh, I see. You must be feeling suicidal again.
By the way, don’t worry. The real Lucia the maid is fine. I think. Well, at least she was the last time I checked up on her in ‘the dungeon’ a month ago. Do you think I should check on her again and give her some food and water or something?