Y’all might think I’m crazy for starting this blog in the first place. Why alienate people and hurt my book sales? What book sales?? That’s the whole point of this blog! I’m just pointing out my mistakes and what’s not working and hopefully giving you a laugh in the process. And the people I’m talking about will probably never see this anyway. And even if they do, they might not realize that it’s them and get peeved. And if they do realize that it’s them and get peeved, it’s not like they can come after me and sue me as long as I keep them anonymous as I said before. Unless they have a strong urge to out themselves as real a … anyway, they wouldn’t get a dime because have they seen my bank account lately? SUCKAS!!! Oh, and also Mr. Nicholson would have a message for them.
Other than that, I have nothing to hide. Dammit! Another corpse fell out of the closet. BRB … okay, where was I? My name is Irene Helenowski. My parents met in medical school in Gdansk (yes, it’s Gdansk — never say Danzig to a Pole), got married, had three kids (my sister and two brothers), and then immigrated to Chicago where I was born. I got my my PhD from UIC last year, and work as a Biostatistician at a comprehensive cancer center in Chicago. I very much like my day job and want to continue my research in multiple imputation. As I long as I don’t do anything really illegal, I should hope that I don’t jeopardize that career. Last time I checked, UIC still had my dissertation posted (which you can google), and I do not intend to give them a reason to remove it. Even stalking John Krasinski is not worth it! (Okay, now maybe that would be a little worth it). By the way, Johnny, sweetie, baby, if you are reading this, this is what I look like.
Yes, I do realize that this must be the worst Dr. Evil impersonation ever. But after all I’m a biostatistician
and an author, not an impersonator. At least I’m a doctor now, so shut up.