With the self-pub promoting not working, I’ve decided to try to give traditional publishing a go. Most publishers these days just use manuscripts as something to wipe boogers from their noses or something else from another body part unless they are contacted directly by a literary agent. So my summer project has been to find myself an agent! Woohoo! Wanna know how it’s going? Really? Wanna know the real answer? Well … so far, I’ve had ** shocker ** no offers. Thus, the name of my blog. But I digress. I must admit some of the agents’ responses were very nice, some of them even giving me writing tips and encouraging me to keep trying, which I do appreciate. I did get this one interesting message though just saying “Pass, but God bless.” Yes, that is all she wrote. Now, yes, I do believe in God, and you’re very lucky that I do, lady! Otherwise, I might begin thinking of some ungodly things to do to you. Yes, even more ungodly than locking you in a room with Twihard Emma Clark. Yes, I’ll wait until you finish huddling in a corner in a fetal position, rocking back and forth.
Better? Anyway … moving on. I just replied “Thanks, anyway, and God Bless also”. In retrospect, though, this would have been an even better reply.
Dear Ms. Religious Agent,
Thank you for your response. I am truly grateful that you would like God to bless me. I would like God to bless you too. I also like saying this prayer every morning.
Lord, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change,
the courage to change the things I cannot accept,
and the wisdom to hide the dead bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off today.
Now, Ms. Religious Agent, do you know what’s my favorite part in that prayer? DO YOU???