You wrote a book. That’s nice. Now you want to publish. Why? You want to get it out there, hoping you might be a like a Weezer song and become the next big thing? Well, if you do become that, be forewarned that you will also become my mortal enemy. Cause yeah, that’s really what I thought I would be. Wrote this book about inter-dimensional travel, entitled Order of The Dimensions (yes, Order of The Dimensions, if you want to pick it up, maybe, hopefully, please!!!) and started working on the sequel and success would be at my doorstep and the movie offers would start pouring and it was just going to be so awesome! Uh, no. I mean, I just endured the seven most grueling years of my life trying to get a PhD in biostatistics, how hard could this be? You know something’s not going to be that easy, if you look back at working for your doctorate and say “well, that was a walk in the park, wasn’t it?”. I mean, if Stephanie Meyer or EL James or Suzanne Collins … with each passing day, I really am tempted to try on my tinfoil hat and believe that they are puppets of the Illuminati. And JK Rowling is their high priestess of course. Seriously, that’s the only thing I got for their shot to the top from obscurity.
So I decided to start this blog about my (mis)adventures in book promotion. Please note that I do not name names, however, as I believe that despite living in a culture with an ever growing hunger for who, when, where, and why, a bit of anonymity is still a good thing. That and I do not want to get sued. That and it might not look good for me if any names mentioned here were to match those of the victims in a mass grave that state troopers might stumble upon just off of Route 120 in Woodstock. I wouldn’t, you say? Huh, I suggest that you do not cross this Polish American princess from the Northwest side of Chicago and find out. Okay, I’m kidding! Don’t worry! The authorities reading this … what? The authorities left? Well then, as I was saying … do not cross me. Ever.
Anywhoo, my life insofar is turning out to be a Weezer song anyway. You know, the part that says:
I’m just a no class, beat down fool
And I will always be that way
I might as well enjoy my life
And watch the stars play