Dictionary Lady

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So I go to this book blogs site I usually frequent and start whining about my book sales. Yes, I was feeling like a pathetic loser despite just receiving my doctorate, losing eighty pounds, and getting a promotion at the prestigious academic medical center I work at. Yes, I know I should submit this post to White People Problems but just bear with me. I started a new thread on their forum called “Throwing in the Towel”. That’s when Dictionary Lady appeared and her sucker radar must have been going off the charts. My first clue should been that she claimed my paypal payment of $65.00 (actually, $66.74 when you convert it from CAN to USD) and did not bother to even ask me for a copy of the damn book. Week went by and my twitter following increased which was nice. But then it happened. She posted a dictionary post. A Peanuts (okay, one of the other cartoons that I cannot bother remembering now) cartoon at that where the girl tells me boy “It’s called a dictionary”. Yes, she posted a freakin dictionary cartoon on my facebook page. What does that have to do with a science fiction book about inter-dimensional travel? Um, that’s why I’m here asking you. I emailed her about the meaning of the cartoon on a page that primarily features posts on multidimensional travel and promoting the sciences to youth groups and quantum mechanics and the like. She said that she doesn’t want to “sell” my book, but she wants to “sell” me as an author. That’s nice, but what does that have to do with a dictionary besides me wanting to throw one at her face at that moment? And “sell” me? Apparently, I just added the position of hooker to my growing CV. Oooh, we’re at the letter H now, baby! And me love you loooooong time! Needless to say, she is no longer under my employment.

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